Posted by: Nanook | February 24, 2010

Putting the Hot in “Hot Springs”

As we were leaving Hot Springs this past weekend, we drove past a bar that advertised “Strip Karaoke”. Strip Karaoke? Mein Gott in himmel! It’s an idea so simple, yet so genius…so controversial, yet so innocent and pure…It just might be the greatest. idea. ever.

Sadly, we did not stop to check out the activities, and the sign outside raised more questions than answers. For example, is the bar just a “normal” strip joint where they happen to make the dancers perform karaoke while they undress?

'Islands in the stream! That is what we are!'

Or is it the customer that is required to sing, as the dancers undress behind him?

'No one in-between! How can we be wrong?!'

Or is it some amalgamation of the two?

'Sail away with me...to another world!'

Or…and I’m just spit-ballin’ here…is it some bizarre new karaoke method hitherto unknown to the human race?

'And we rely on each other, ah ha! From one lover to another, ah ha!'

The world may never know.

The other fantastic thing espied from the car during our exodus from Hot Springs was the gigantic outdoor Jesus mosaic on the wall of a Howard Johnson’s hotel. At least, I assume it was Jesus–we drove by pretty quickly, and I guess it could actually be Howard Johnson beckoning weary travelers to rest at his humble inn.

Come, rest ye weary feet in our in-door pool and combination hot-tub/sauna

You know, as I take a closer look at this mosaic, I can’t help but notice that Jesus actually looks indignant, like a sullen Rob Schneider. Perhaps he is displeased at how much time I spent thinking about strip karaoke.

Or perhaps he is angry that you never saw 'Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo'

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Responses

  1. You have thought quite a bit about this haven’t you?

  2. I have it on good authority that strip karaoke is where you sing while they strip.

    • I guess my next question would be whether, if that’s the case, they would object if you also take your clothes off.

  3. So where does this compare on the awesomeness scale with Asian Midget Wrestling ?

  4. You know, I’ve been internet stalking your blog for a few weeks now and when I saw both the Strip Karaoke bit and then the angry cross-eyed Jesus bit, being a Hot Springs native I just had to comment.

    If you think the Strip Karaoke place is something….ponder this:

    Hot Springs used to have a…no joke…topless haircut salon…

    You’d go there to get your haircut by someone topless…(I guess that goes without saying, but I had to type that all out to fully process it in my mind).

    • I want to go to there!

  5. Apparently the topless haircut salon earned my lovely hometown a spot in Pravda.

    http://english.pravda.ru/fun/2002/03/26/27192.html


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