Posted by: Nanook | March 18, 2010

Bridal Journalism

Every Sunday, the Arkansas paper thrills us with tales of local weddings. Unlike their northern counterparts, Arkansas’ paper doesn’t limit the wedding news to one photo and a short paragraph for each couple. Here, pages are spent, filled with photos of the entire bridal party and detailing each happy couple with the detail of a CIA dossier.

At first, I assumed these spreads were saved only for the local bigwigs and members of their family–the “upper crust”, I’ve heard it called. Surely, I thought, not everyone is important enough to merit such in-depth treatment by the local news.

But then, last Sunday, I read the following quote from one lucky groom:

“I knew she was right for me when: I found out she had her own shotgun, rifle and four-wheel drive.”

Can you doubt it was love at first site? Surely there are no such things as mere coincidences, and the fact that both these young people were armed proves that theirs is a love for the ages, like Romeo and Juliet or the Captain and Tenille. Or the Cap’n and O’Neil.

the joke sucks, but I spent WAY to much time on this to let it go to waste.

True love, yes. But I began to doubt my original belief that these features were reserved for the cream of the town.

My belief was restored, however, when I read this next bit, which assured me of the classiness of the couple.

“they collected the same three things–old fishing lures, old duck decoys and kitchen scales”

Because why wouldn’t they?

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Responses

  1. Me and Gerry noticed this phenom in the Sunday paper as well—I think the really important people do get an entire page though. It’s very interesting.
    Kitchen scales? I don’t know what this means.

  2. Methlab

  3. Please, please, please tell me that first picture was photoshopped. Kitchen scales? Fish. weighing fish.

  4. OMG!! The bride is SMOKING!!! I just noticed that!!! This picture is causing me angst, but I can’t stop looking at it!!!

    • My wife tells me that portions of the photo are photoshopped. I don’t see it myself (although I was suspicious that the photo was likely staged.)

  5. […] Celebrity Spotting, pt. II–A look in the mirror A while ago, I wrote about the seemingly southern newspaper phenomenon of running entire sections devoted to a few single upcoming weddings, filling each page with photos of the entire bridal party and detailing each happy couple with detail usually reserved for CIA dossiers. […]


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