I don’t understand people who don’t like baseball. I think there’s nothing as wonderful as sitting in a beautiful ballpark on a warm summer night, eating a hot dog and peanuts and watching a ballgame.
Yet some people complain that game is slow and boring. They’re wrong, of course, but some have the audacity to claim that the competitors aren’t even really athletes!
While I don’t understand it, I’m grateful for it, because their apathy toward the national pastime is what leads teams to have such bizarre promotions in order to get people into the stadium. In Milwaukee, for example, decades of work to end bigotry and discrimination are nightly decimated when tiny racist sausages run for the fans’ amusement.
Washington takes the racing wiener concept and turns it into some sort of nightmarish tableau by answering the age-old question: What would our founding fathers look like if they suffered from gigantism and loved to race?
But perhaps the greatest promotion I’ve seen advertised comes courtesy of my very own home-town team, the Little Rock Travelers, whose schedule for May 14 awesomely reads:
The fantastic Travs pre-game tradition continues as Midget Wrestling returns to Dickey-Stephens Park. Puppet “The Psycho Dwarf” and L’il Kato are joined by Beautiful Bobby and T.O. in a battle for the World Midget Wrestling Tag Team Championship.
After the game, kids run the bases!”
It really doesn’t get any more family-friendly than that!