Apparently it is NOT a good idea to eat the unfertilized eggs of hideous aquatic life. How do I know that? Because I’m not a drooling idiot. Unlike that moron Darwin.
Darwin Aaron, that is. Last week, in Heber Springs, Arkansas, old Darwin learned that lesson the hard way* when he fed his family eggs from a long-nosed gar fish.
Of course, eating fish is natural, and Darwin knew that gar meat is edible, so he figured he’d try the roe. Besides, if God didn’t want us to eat something, he would have made it is ugly as possible in order to dissuade us from taking a bite. Not like the lovely gar fish–
Anyway, after eating portions of this monster’s reproductive system, the family had a nice quiet evening until about 1:00 a.m., when the ten-year-old son became violently ill. Soon, old Darwin and his brother-in-law started vomiting, which, despite the fact that copious amounts of Schlitz had probably been consumed by this time, struck them all as unusual.
So Mrs. Darwin went and googled “gar eggs” and found out that they are in fact highly toxic.
*And yes, that link goes to the Minnesota paper. Because idiots poisoning thier children is big news up north.