Posted by: Nanook | May 7, 2010

Toadsuckers (or how I learned to use photo-shop)

Upon first meeting me, you would assume that my greatest loves in life are cheese and Zac Efron

Pictured: utopia

But they’re wrong. Actually, those who know me well will verify that I have two great loves:

1. I love toads.
2. I love to suck them.

It is my secret shame.

Thankfully, just outside of town there is a state park dedicated solely to my fetish:

park rangers warn against feeding the Buseys

And no one really knows why it’s called “Toad Suck”. Legend (ie: wikipedia) has it that “long ago, steamboats traveled the Arkansas River, and when the river wasn’t at the correct depth, the captains and their crew tied up to wait where the Toad Suck Lock & Dam now spans the river near Conway. While they waited, they refreshed themselves at the local tavern. The dismayed folks living nearby were heard to say: “They suck on the bottle ’til they swell up like toads.” Hence, the name Toad Suck. The tavern is long gone, but the legend lives on at Toad Suck Daze.”

It's a beautiful story to tell your kids

Although its difficult to believe that Wikipedia got anything incorrect, some denounce that version of history as bunk. They claim that “suck” is another word for “bog”, and the name refers to a nearby swampy area. Others say a public house once stood near the town, and that structure was called Toad Suck. Still others claim that “Toad Suck” is an English corruption of the French “Taudis Sucre”, which means “sugar shack.”

which raises many more questions than it purports to answer

I’m sure that there are more theories, but I’m too lazy to look them up.

At any rate, so accepting are people that they celebrate Toad Suck Daze—an entire festival dedicated to the joys of sucking on amphibians. People travel for miles to attend the festivities. There is a Toad Suck square, and Toad Suck stores selling Toad Suck merchandise. There is even a Toad Suck race, which my lovely and vivacious wife ran in this year.

All in all it’s a great time, and aside from the festival’s name, there is absolutely nothing creepy about it at all.

7 hours of photoshopping, and this is the best that I could come up with

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Responses

  1. 1) how does “Bridal Journalism” seem like a related post?
    2) YEAH!!!!! Nanook is back on the grid!!!!

  2. Thank you so much for Photoshopping the Fat nerd back in a photo.

  3. True story: This past Saturday during Toad Suck Daze, my husband and I had made reservations at Mike’s Place for my birthday. As we are walking to the restaurant, the tornado sirens began to wail All of the Toadsuckers did one of two things: 1) herded into the entryways of Mike’s Place and other restaurants with their dogs and burning cigarettes to gawk at the sky or 2) stood outside in the street and gawked at the sky with their kids. Nice.

  4. Follow-up: We haven’t made it a habit to travel in tornadic weather. However, as we live on the third floor of our building, it was probably much safer at Mike’s Place AND I could get a mojito to calm my nerves. 🙂

  5. Yeah, you’re back.

  6. This has nothing to do with your post, but I can think of no one better suited to become the US distributor of these. http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2010/05/11/travel/funny-signs.html?src=me&ref=homepage#/4be5181f8e31df5c7d00012b/

  7. I love that painting.


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