Posted by: Nanook | June 15, 2010

“Reality” bites

How proud must these parents be?

It was recently discovered that in Green Forest, AR (pop. 2717) fourteen girls between grades 6 and 12 were either pregnant or had already become mothers. FOURTEEN!

The Green Forest school board, reacting to the news that their students were a bit trampy, voted unanimously to add six days of sex education to the curriculum for this term.

Fourteen girls, out of 280 female students. That’s a preggers ratio of one out of every 20. One of the students—who thankfully only had a pregnancy “scare”—was A FIFTH-GRADER!

Speaking of which, where has Rush Limbaugh been lately? ZING!

So the idea of including six days of sex education is extremely prescient of the Green Forest school board, and they should be commended for taking this action.

But they won’t be. Instead they will be mocked as the ineffective, nutless group that they are. Because what the board actually approved of was an abstinence-only class for sixth and seventh graders.

The “sex education” classes will be taught by the nonprofit group Reality Check Inc.. It is important to note that this company is in no way is run by nutjobs with an agenda (although it also teaches a seminar for parents entitled “Parenting Pure Teens”–make of that what you will). It is, instead, a highly reputable organization that uses “scientifically accurate medical information” in its quest to squash teenage sexuality. And, its website proudly notes, it has the approval of Medical Organizations!

Of course, much like the phrase “sex education”, the phrase “Medical Organizations” turns out, in this instance, to be a subjective term, and if you go to their website , you learn that the “medical organizations” that approve of the program consist of exactly one school nurse and one “paraprofessional”.

4 out of 5 doctors agree that this is a great program. The 5th is a ninja.

Aside from their smudging the whole “medical organizations” thing, there are other indications that the children of Green Forest, AR may not be receiving the most helpful information. On its website, in a section entitled “Condom Limitations”, Reality Check readily admits that “among sexually active U.S. teens, only 47.8% of males and 27.5% of females report using condoms consistently over a one-year period”, but argues that teaching the importance of consistently using condoms would NOT solve this problem– that’s just what the commie Satanists want you to do. Instead, the company uses “scientifically accurate medical information” to argue that abstinence is the only answer.

Condoms hate being reminded of their limitations

And of course, Reality Check takes a stance on the controversial HPV vaccine issue. Again, using “scientifically accurate medical information”, the company quotes a FOX news story that stated the vaccine “is quickly gaining a reputation as the most painful of childhood shots”. Instead of letting your slutty daughter get this vaccine, the company encourages a two-pronged approach. “Parents and policymakers need to: Promote risk avoidance (abstinence) for young people, and clearly communicate to young people expectations of responsible sexual behavior”

For those of you not paying attention—if your trampy daughter wants to get the HPV vaccine, the two pronged approach endorsed by Reality Check, Inc. is as follows: 1) Promote abstinence, and 2) clearly communicate that the only responsible sexual behavior is abstinence.

In the same way that it’s difficult to argue with an intoxicated 90 year old who’s trying to return soup at a restaurant, it’s hard to argue with this logic.

The one bright spot in all this: If you’re a sexual deviant, head on over to the Green Forest school district. Something tells me that these kids are going to be pretty easy for a long time to come.

pictured: the 2019 graduating class



  1. Your photoshop skills are really coming along.

  2. Why are you only taking down the girls in this post? I see lots of references to slutty, trampy daughters, but what about the boys involved in all this? Unfair Nanook. It takes two you know. (Or, do you know that? I have my doubts now that I’m thinking about it.)

    • Look again–there is only one reference specifically to slutty girls–the rest are (purposefully) gender neutral.

  3. You know, I used to work for Reality Check Inc. I presented their information in many classrooms. It’s really a shame that most of these abstinence education programs are run by ignorant, uneducated posers such as Beth Bryant and her sidekick husband Randy. Beth is the founder and director of Reality Check Inc. During my final days at Reality Check Beth Bryant scolded me harshly for telling a group of sixth graders at Pea Ridge Middle School that you could not get Aids by simply kissing an Aids infected person. She said that researchers were speculating on this issue, and that was all the proof she needed to teach it in the classroom. Why can’t we simply get some people with the proper credentials to go into our classrooms and tell the students that, no condoms don’t work every time but that is no reason to not use them if you are going to be sexually active. Or perhaps tell the students that we haven’t found anyone who consistently used a condom correctly, even people who were given rigorous training for testing purposes, yet still, this is no reason to dispose of the idea of using them. The whole truth would be nice. No condoms don’t work every time and no we can’t expect our teenagers of today to actually be responsible enough to use them consistently and correctly when many of these youth don’t even consistently or correctly tie their shoes, but still condoms serve as a legitimate risk reducer so why not use them. Taking away condoms because we expect our students to behave responsibly and therefor not need them is like taking air bags out of cars because we think that people are going to stop speeding and running stop signs. Balance, my friend. Is it that difficult to achieve? Forgive any grammatical errors. I’ve not taken the time to proof this.

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