Recently, a Mountain Home, AR man was arrested for breaking into his former girlfriend’s home and stealing her underwear. Which must be tough–I mean, if you get pinched for purloining panties, it must be difficult to admit to your cellmate the reason you are in jail.
Anyway, witnesses noticed this master-thief crawling into the woman’s house through the window, and promptly called the police. The panty-bandit was nabbed as he tried to make off with the stolen undies. He would’ve gotten away with it too, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids!
Shockingly, it turned out that the man was already under a No Contact Order and subject to an Order for Protection when he crawled through a window of the woman’s house in the early morning.
Which is why, whenever I want to steal female underwear I make a point to knock at the front door like a real man. Ammiright?!? Anyone?