Posted by: Nanook | June 17, 2010

Purloining Panties

God, Fred is such a smug SOB

Recently, a Mountain Home, AR man was arrested for breaking into his former girlfriend’s home and stealing her underwear. Which must be tough–I mean, if you get pinched for purloining panties, it must be difficult to admit to your cellmate the reason you are in jail.

prison rape: always funny

Anyway, witnesses noticed this master-thief crawling into the woman’s house through the window, and promptly called the police. The panty-bandit was nabbed as he tried to make off with the stolen undies. He would’ve gotten away with it too, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids!

Seriously though--Why is Fred always such an asshole?

Shockingly, it turned out that the man was already under a No Contact Order and subject to an Order for Protection when he crawled through a window of the woman’s house in the early morning.

Which is why, whenever I want to steal female underwear I make a point to knock at the front door like a real man. Ammiright?!? Anyone?

If stealing your ex's underwear is wrong, Nanook doesn't want to be right.

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Responses

  1. Have you ever seen the cartoon series called The Pup named Scooby Doo? It’s when the gang is all in junior high. You think Fred is an asshole when he’s in high school, he’s a bigger asshole when he’s thirteen. I can’t even watch it with Zach because he’s so annoying.

  2. Have you seen the cartoon The Pup Named Scooby Doo? It’s when the gang is in junior high. You think Fred is an asshole in high school, he’s a bigger asshole when he’s 13. He’s so annoying I can’t even watch it with Zach.

  3. Mmm yeah. Feel free to delete one of those.

    • nope. I assume you were so passionate about your comment that you needed to post twice. I shall not second guess your passion.

  4. […] unkindest cut of all. At least the other phrases had been used in the past: “Fat nerd”, “Prison Rape”…I even found an instance of using “McBoobs” (in a respectful way, of course). […]


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