Posted by: Nanook | August 3, 2010

Let’s get rocked (while I pour some sugar on you)

When I was growing up, my school’s mascot was The Shamrocks. Even as a kid, I knew it was the most ridiculous mascot ever. The other junior high schools had the Stars and the Cavaliers, but over at Simmons Junior High, we were the mighty Shamrocks. There is simply no way to experience that sort of mascot-driven abasement and emerge unscathed. Obviously, other teams laughed at us. To this day, I’m convinced that had we been the Lions or the Bears, I could have mustered up some scintilla of self-respect that would have encouraged me to excel in the realm of tweeny athletics. As it was, however, no amount of cheering for the Shamrocks could inspire me, or prevent me from being pummeled in 8th grade basketball. It was profoundly emasculating.

The shamrock taint never fades

Which is why I am so jealous of the Arkansas School for the Deaf. Why? Because their mascot is the Leopard.

That's right. They are the Arkansas School for the Deaf Leopards

How rocking is that? Like my grandma always says, if your school mascot is named after one of the greatest hair-metal bands of all time, no one f**ks with you.

Sadly, even Rick Allen could kick my ass at basketball.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. You’re point makes sense. My high school (Tigers, we often came out onto the field to Guns n Roses “Welcome to the Jungle” which didn’t make us tough, we were 3-5 my senior year.) played the Blossoms in football. We had no respect for their football abilities. At least you weren’t a Blossom. Blossom taint would be much harder to cleanse than Shamrock taint.

  2. At least a shamrock is an actual tangible object. We always made fun of the Green Wave. What in the heck is a Green Wave? That’s not even a thing.

    • Actually, “Green Wave” is kind of cool. It’s reminisceent of the absolute greatest team name in all of intercollegiate athletics, the Crimson Tide.

  3. I think you were just trying to find a legitimate way to use the word “taint” in a post…

    • Know what? Actually, that is EXACTLY what I was doing. And I’m not ashamed of that.

  4. The mighty “Shamrocks” is not quite as bad as the “Fighting Okra” of Delta State. Although admittedly that’s their joke nickname, not their real one.

    Now the Whittier College Poets–THERE’S a fearsome mascot. Beat us and we will write a satirical sonnet about you! Or what about the U of Penn Quakers? That’s scare ya. Or the Rhode Island School of Design, whose mascot is the “Nads”? I don’t even want to go there.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: