Search Terms

I’ve already talked about how I am able to view the search terms people use to find Nanook online. As I mentioned at the time, I was a little insulted by what I found.

Four months have now elapsed since that original discovery, and I thought the time was right to once again see what people were searching for when they were directed to Nanook’s site. I was confident the results would be more complimentary, as I had spent the past four months honing the site’s sophisticated and intelligent humor. Nanook of the South had been classed-up.

DICK JOKE!

Needless to say, I was disappointed by what I found.

In the past four months, people googled the phrase “Brian Dennehy” 231 times in order to find the site. That is unsurprising. My acute hatred of veteran character actor Brian Dennehy is the stuff of legends.

Veteran character actor Brian Dennehy knows why I hate him. He just doesn't care.

“Prison Rape” was googled and led to the site 19 times. People googled “Nanook of the South” 17 times over the past four months to be directed to this website.

Let that sink in for a minute. More people came to this website via a search for “prison rape” than from a search of the website’s actual name.

There is no way this is going to end well.

Despite my protests, people are still searching for the term “fat nerd” in order to find me. That happened 8 times, and every time was like an arrow shot through my already wounded ego.

People searched for “McBoobies” three times in order to find me. I guess that makes sense.

wait...what?

But googling of “Homemade Prison Underwear” also led people to my site three times. This was the unkindest cut of all. At least the other phrases had been used in the past: “Fat nerd”, “Prison Rape”…I even found an instance of using “McBoobs” (in a respectful way, of course). But for the life of me, I cannot remember ever using the phrase “homemade prison underwear” in an entry.

Yet.

Finally, some perverts actually googled “Cooter Hole,” and were led to this website twice.

I’m happy that people are coming to the website, but I have to imagine the people who came to this website after searching for “cooter hole” were profoundly disappointed.

John McCain and his friends just can't handle Nanook's heat