Posted by: Nanook | January 10, 2011

Sex Bomb

I once had a girlfriend break up with me on my birthday. After she did it, I said “wow, you’re breaking up with me on my birthday?” Then she said “Omigod—I totally forgot it’s your birthday.”

That stung.

But I never felt the need to retaliate in any way. Even if I had wanted to get back at her, I would have done something simple like putting a dead fish in her radiator, or stealing her underwear. You know…something normal.

But, as I’ve mentioned before, the long, cold, dark winters of Minnesota sometimes cause people to do crazy things. And one Minnesotan recently decided to kick things up a notch when he went after his ex-girlfriend by giving her…an exploding sex toy for Christmas!.

This handsome devil is the reason your mother always nagged you about accepting christmas vibrators from ex-boyfriends.

The vagina-bomber was staying with his ex-girlfriend (the intended victim) and another woman. According to the story, the man “mentioned to one of the two roommates his intentions, so they [sic] reported their [sic] suspicions about the bags to the police.”

Although the article doesn’t say, one can only assume that the roommate he mentioned it to was not the one whose vagina he was trying to explode.

Also, I also really enjoyed how the article pointed out that the guy was “a long-time customer at Lindner’s Liquor.” I smell a Pulitzer!

When most people hear the words "news" and "dildo," they automatically think of Don Shelby. ZING!

*Incidentally, “The Vagina Bombers” would make a pretty sweet band name.



  1. Do you have some twisted Google Alert that led you to this story?

  2. In her defense, it was the EVE of your birthday when the break-up started…it just sort of spilled over into the actual day… And she hadn’t FORGOTTEN…it just wasn’t in the forefront of her thoughts at that very moment. She’s was a self-centered Aries back then. 😉

    • Makes a great story, though.

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